Wedding Day Ideas: A creative way to carry your vows
Have you ever wondered where can you store your vows on your wedding day should your memory fail and you need to have a hard copy as your back-up version? Here is a unique idea: what about carrying them on your flower arrangement? First, you will each need to write your vows down on a paper 3” by 5”, but no larger than 4” by 6”. Next, you will need some simple supplies sold at any craft store. Purchase 2 floral picks with wires and 2 “fake” wedding rings. Roll each vow into a scroll shape and place a ring around it. Now, take the floral pick and wire the ring to the floral pick and secure each to your wedding arrangement. Be sure not to wire the scroll, only the ring, as you don’t want a hard time trying to un-secure your vows. You may also want either two unique rings (one gold, one silver), or you may want to write your name on the outside of the scroll, to denote each person’s vow.
Additionally, make sure each scrolled vow is firmly placed and arranged so it looks like part of your arrangement, and not something that shouldn’t be there.
More creative ideas in future postings.
When you just don’t know what to say…..
have someone else say it for you. With all of the overwhelming emotions a bride or groom goes through before their Wedding Day, sometimes, writing or memorizing Wedding Vows gets pushed down on the priority list or due to wedding-related stress, often times people have a mini “mental meltdown”. I know on the day I got married, I felt like I was in a fog and couldn’t remember a thing! Our justice read the vows and I just agreed to them. Mind you it was a spur-of-the-moment decision to get married (like we decided and were married in an hour), but even with months of planning, it still happens.
So what can you do? Have a back-up plan. While you may not want to go the route I had of someone choosing your vows for you and just agreeing to them, consider selecting a poem that summarizes and expresses to your partner how you feel about him/her. Suggest that he/she find on also in the event that you may be too busy or stressed to tackle those vows. In a crunch, having something to say is a lot better than standing up there, feeling like you are about to pass out, with nothing to say. You may not pass out, but, if your experience is anything like mine was, you may not remember a thing.
Emergencies can happen on your Wedding Day: be prepared for them
So what happens if you feel like you are going to faint or feel ill when you are asked for your vows? That would be your “Plan B”. Make sure your Pastor or Justice of the Peace knows how you are feeling, and if in the event you aren’t doing well, he/she can either read your vows for you or can read some selected text.
Also, if there is a particular passage (Bible, Torah, Koran, etc. ) that you’ve selected, that can be read by them, as well. Have a “gesture” or understood symbol to signify that you need him/her to read or select vows for you. I know it may not be something that you want to do, but if you are squeezed into a Wedding dress on a hot day with the air conditioning broken and standing in one place, chances are you may end up feeling more motivated to have all the help you can get.
If doing a family vow, you can also select a representative from the family to read and select and alternate. Your health is most important, and as long as you are able to become someone’s husband or wife for life, that is what your Wedding Day should be all about.
Family Vows and Young Children, ….Can This Work?
When coming into a blended family marriage (one where there are children involved), often times family vows are said. Family vows are where parents and step-parents recognize each member of the family (both current and new members) and where children and step-children do the same. The purpose of the family vows is to include everyone in the unification process, to promise things to each other as a family, and to recognize the individual’s role in the family. But… what do you do if the child/children are too young to know what is going on?
If a child is too young to participate in family vows, ask your pastor or clergy (if using one) to perform a family blessing right after the ceremony. This is the time when it is usually done, or in some churches, when a family unity candle is lit.
What Are Family Vows?
Entering a marriage with children or step-children is a challenge in itself, but what better way to encourage the commitment to your new family members than to include them in a family vow ceremony.
Family vows allow you as a parent or step-parent to tell each child how much you love him/her, what you can do as a parent-step parent for the rest of their lives, and re-affirm a commitment of love and devotion to both them and their mom/dad.
Sometimes, family vows are followed by the lighting of the family unity candle or even include a word or two by each child offering what he/she can bring to the family. At the conclusion, some families even choose to read a prayer or Bible verse together all in unison.
Consider planning a family vow celebration if children are involved on your Wedding Day.
Beach Weddings and Your Vows: The Perfect Combination
Beach weddings are the best place to make custom vow souvenirs for all of your guests. Whether you want them to read-along with you or have a memento to take some, personalize your vows for guests by following these easy steps.
1. Have your vows printed or hand-written on parchment paper and rolled into a scroll.
2. Insert each scroll into a bottle; which can be customized with the couple’s names and wedding date on it.
3. Place bottles in a basket decorated with a simulated sea design to look like a message in a bottle. Bottles can either be placed by the guest registry for pre-wedding pick-up or held over to reception time for a post-wedding souvenir.
How to Rehearse Your Proposal or Wedding Vow: Memorization Techniques
After you’ve written and edited, now comes the part where you decide to practice. First, you need to become comfortable speaking your lines. To do this go into a room like your bathroom that has a large mirror and read your speech line by line, slowly. This will help your mind associate any thoughts or feelings you have with each line. After this is done, start with each paragraph. Try reading it once while looking into the mirror to work on eye-contact. Next, repeat the paragraph you just read and try not to look at the paper.
Once you have memorized one paragraph, repeat the process while building upon what you have already learned. When repeating paragraph 2, 3, 4, or more back, make sure you start with the previous paragraphs you have already learned to help your memory adjust to the flow of words. Continue with this process until you are able to deliver your proposal or vow comfortably; making direct eye-contact with the mirror, and making sure your words are not rushed.
Writing the Proposal or Vow: Editing Your Work
So you’ve thought long and hard, written your every feeling and experience, and now you just want to memorize it until you can say it in your sleep. Wait! You haven’t edited it yet! Editing your vow or proposal is one of the most critical steps you can not afford to miss because here, you will catch any spelling or grammar mistakes.
How do I edit? First, read quietly, to yourself the entire speech. Does it sound good to you? Does every word make sense? This activity will help you to catch any spelling or word misuses. Next, read it aloud. Does it sound a little funny? Maybe you need to put in a comma or two. Doing so, not only makes it sound better, but also emphasis the points you are trying to most deeply express. Practice reading aloud until you are comfortable with it, and next time, we will work on memorization techniques.
Writing the Proposal or Vows: Organizing Your Pre-Writing Thoughts
Ok, so now you are ready to take all of those thoughts, wishes, hopes and dreams for the two of you and put them into an organized group of words? First, you will want to ask yourself how you are going to get him or her to notice you. If this is going to be unexpected, and most likely you will be nervous, or if this is expected and you both are going to be nervous, consider opening with a bit of humor. This will break the ice and at least get you both smiling. Next, start with the past, make you way through the present, and end with any future goals that you wish to reach with your new or potential life-mate. When all of this is done, pause right there. Tomorrow, we will touch on the editing process. Yes, while this is not your college term paper, it still needs to be edited; so sit tight!
Getting Started: Prewriting
Ok, so you’ve decided you want to try to write a proposal or vow yourself. Great, now where to begin, you ask? Pre-writing, or brainstorming, is the first step in the writing process. To being your writing, I want you to fold your paper into three columns and ask yourself these questions.
Column one - What is it about this person that you really like? Was there moment of truth where the two of you were tested, and this person’s character or trait that you admire came through to win over your heart? (Basically, we will call this column the past)
Column two – How long have you two been together? Have you seen any major growth improvements as a couple that have led you to this day? Why did you pick now to ask (right amount of time together, expecting a baby, something told you inside it was right, etc.) him/her to marry you? For the second column, you will be dealing with your relationship specifically as a couple in the present tense.
Column three – Your future goals as a couple are addressed here. Some questions to ask yourself in this column are: Where do you see the two of yourself years from now? Will you stand by him/her in both the good and bad times ahead? If step-children are involved will you make the commitment to be in their lives forever? Think about this column long and hard; while you are not technically “selling yourself” like in a job interview, but standing firm in a commitment which, for most people, is even more powerful, as for many it is in a house of worship where these commitments will be made.
Look for my next step, putting it all together in words, tomorrow.
