Renewal of Vow Ceremonies…Something old or something new?

For couples who have been together for some time and are celebrating a Renewal of Vows Ceremony, the choice of which vows to say can be a tough one. Are you both going to say your original vows that you said during your wedding ceremony to promote a feeling of nostalgia, a continuation of an ongoing commitment, or just to prove that you can still remember them after all these years.

On the other hand, you and your partner have shared many life experiences together since your wedding, and you may want to totally incorporate them into your vows. A hybrid version could contain both: the best from your past vows and your future promises and commitments to each other.

In the end it is a personal decision, and one I have thought about when I am in that situation. I decided to just go with something totally new; as my life changed beyond explanation daily with the new adventures my husband brings me. As long as the words come from inside and are truthful, that is all that counts.

When you just don’t know what to say…..

have someone else say it for you. With all of the overwhelming emotions a bride or groom goes through before their Wedding Day, sometimes, writing or memorizing Wedding Vows gets pushed down on the priority list or due to wedding-related stress, often times people have a mini “mental meltdown”. I know on the day I got married, I felt like I was in a fog and couldn’t remember a thing! Our justice read the vows and I just agreed to them. Mind you it was a spur-of-the-moment decision to get married (like we decided and were married in an hour), but even with months of planning, it still happens.

So what can you do? Have a back-up plan. While you may not want to go the route I had of someone choosing your vows for you and just agreeing to them, consider selecting a poem that summarizes and expresses to your partner how you feel about him/her. Suggest that he/she find on also in the event that you may be too busy or stressed to tackle those vows. In a crunch, having something to say is a lot better than standing up there, feeling like you are about to pass out, with nothing to say. You may not pass out, but, if your experience is anything like mine was, you may not remember a thing.

Emergencies can happen on your Wedding Day: be prepared for them

So what happens if you feel like you are going to faint or feel ill when you are asked for your vows? That would be your “Plan B”. Make sure your Pastor or Justice of the Peace knows how you are feeling, and if in the event you aren’t doing well, he/she can either read your vows for you or can read some selected text.

Also, if there is a particular passage (Bible, Torah, Koran, etc. ) that you’ve selected, that can be read by them, as well. Have a “gesture” or understood symbol to signify that you need him/her to read or select vows for you. I know it may not be something that you want to do, but if you are squeezed into a Wedding dress on a hot day with the air conditioning broken and standing in one place, chances are you may end up feeling more motivated to have all the help you can get.

If doing a family vow, you can also select a representative from the family to read and select and alternate. Your health is most important, and as long as you are able to become someone’s husband or wife for life, that is what your Wedding Day should be all about.

Family Vows and Young Children, ….Can This Work?

When coming into a blended family marriage (one where there are children involved), often times family vows are said. Family vows are where parents and step-parents recognize each member of the family (both current and new members) and where children and step-children do the same. The purpose of the family vows is to include everyone in the unification process, to promise things to each other as a family, and to recognize the individual’s role in the family. But… what do you do if the child/children are too young to know what is going on?

If a child is too young to participate in family vows, ask your pastor or clergy (if using one) to perform a family blessing right after the ceremony. This is the time when it is usually done, or in some churches, when a family unity candle is lit.

Creative Ways to Have a Long-Distance Proposal (Part One)

Ok, so I have been thinking about some really creative ways to propose to your girlfriend/boyfriend while you are separated by distance. The first idea that comes into my mind is to order a really sparkly faux ring from one of the shopping channels and have it shipped to him/her. On the message card, have something like “this will have to do until I can give you the real one in person, will you marry me?”

Another idea is to give him/her an Ipod or MP3 player pre-loaded with his/her favorite songs. Make a .wav recording of your proposal and “sneak” it in there along with the songs. When your special person listens to it, they will be unexpectedly surprised. Of course, you can always design a custom cover to drop “hints” about one of the “surprise songs” inside.

Last for today, what about an Edible Arrangement? Order one shaped in a bouquet and have it shipped to your love one. On the card, you can write how that person will be needed another one made out of different kinds of flowers in the near future if he/she will do the honor of becoming your husband/wife. If you wish to do this for a man, instead of ordering bouquets, order an edible boutonniere.

Look for more creative long-distance proposal ideas soon.

Long Distance Proposals… Are they as successful as in-person ones?

If you are in the military, work on different Coasts, go to school in different countries or for any other reason you are geographically separated from your future fiancée and are ready to propose, you may be a little hesitant to ask him/her to marry you do to the fear of rejection. You may feel that it is necessary to look into his/her eyes, hold his/her hand, or execute your orchestrated production that you have been planning to do for months, but in reality, sometimes that can’t happen.

If you truly want to ask that special person to marry you, go for it! Chances are you are going to get a yes with about the same probability over the telephone as if you are sitting on the couch in the same room. If he/she really wants you, it is the offer that counts, not how it is done! Trust me, my husband is in the military and getting married was suggested over an email (by me, of course) while he was out to sea. Four years later, we are still going strong. However, if you are looking for some creative ways to ask that other person to marry you and you can’t be there, be sure to check out tomorrow’s posting for some creative ideas on long-distance proposals.

How to Incorporate Music into Your Wedding Vows

We’re all familiar with the Wedding March, music used to seat the family members, processional music both pre and post-ceremony, but what about music during the vow reciting process? Music is an important element of any celebration and can be employed during vow recital. If you are musically inclined, you can celebrate your love by singing together, but, since most of us don’t have a record contract or work as a singer for our day job, there are other ways.

If you will be reading your vows into a microphone, consider playing a soft piece of classical music to help enhance the reading. Alternatively, at the end of a vow reading, you may choose with your fiancée to have a selected song played that describes your vows to commitments you have to each other. Immediately the Nsync song “This I Promise You” popped into my mind. Of course, so did the Aladdin theme song, “A Whole New World” did too. You can use the music to continue playing while you light a family unity candle after the vows are spoken; should you be participating in a ceremony with children or step-children.

What Are Family Vows?

Entering a marriage with children or step-children is a challenge in itself, but what better way to encourage the commitment to your new family members than to include them in a family vow ceremony.

Family vows allow you as a parent or step-parent to tell each child how much you love him/her, what you can do as a parent-step parent for the rest of their lives, and re-affirm a commitment of love and devotion to both them and their mom/dad.

Sometimes, family vows are followed by the lighting of the family unity candle or even include a word or two by each child offering what he/she can bring to the family. At the conclusion, some families even choose to read a prayer or Bible verse together all in unison.

Consider planning a family vow celebration if children are involved on your Wedding Day.

How to Choose the Perfect Moment to Deliver your Engagement Proposal

All of the writing, memorizing, and planning have come to this special moment, but when is the right time to pop the question? Chances are that you may be so nervous that you fear forgetting your vows is a realistic concern, however, you can be creative and help both you and your possible fiancée through this nerve-wracking time.

On the special day (or night), consider making a “cheat sheet”. Assemble pictures of both of you into a special book and document “The Story of Us”, as a way to celebrate your relationship. On the last page, you can either have calligraphies, computer printouts, or hand-written paragraphs of your proposal speech. Ask him/her to follow along silently. Before you start speaking look at the first line to refresh your memory and calm your nerves. Tell yourself that it is just like telling a story; the story of your life. Also, in the book you may want to leave a space right underneath of the proposal with a line like, “He/She said yes!” for a picture of the moment you two officially become engaged.

A scrapbook from any craft store will work fine, and will be a great memory in addition to your wedding album, which hopefully will be in your near future.  

Beach Weddings and Your Vows: The Perfect Combination

Beach weddings are the best place to make custom vow souvenirs for all of your guests. Whether you want them to read-along with you or have a memento to take some, personalize your vows for guests by following these easy steps.

1. Have your vows printed or hand-written on parchment paper and rolled into a scroll.

2. Insert each scroll into a bottle; which can be customized with the couple’s names and wedding date on it.

3. Place bottles in a basket decorated with a simulated sea design to look like a message in a bottle. Bottles can either be placed by the guest registry for pre-wedding pick-up or held over to reception time for a post-wedding souvenir.